Behind the Scenes: Inuyasha Hell
by Lost Demon Kunoichi
Summary: Kagome is cold and stoic, Naraku is crushing on Sango, Inuyasha is plotting revenge on Kikyou, Sesshoumaru is in love with Kagome, Kikyou is giggly and stupid, Kagura is a porn star, Sango is a bisexual perv, and Miroku is scared of women.
1. Chapter 1

Tobari-chan: Hehe. I couldn't resist this fic. It just popped into my head...

Manda-chan: And wouldn't get the hell out.

Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha! -Is suddenly surrounded by billions of identical-looking lawyers with expensive suits and briefcases.- Eep.. Okay, okay, I don't own it!

Summary: Behind the scenes of Inuyasha, Kagome is cold and stoic, Naraku is crushing on Sango, Inuyasha is plotting revenge on Kikyou, Sesshoumaru is in love with Kagome, Kikyou is giggly and stupid, Kagura is a porn star, Sango is a bi-sexual perv, and Miroku is scared of women. What the hell is going on!

"Aaaaaaand, Cut!" All of the actors (except Kagome) sighed in pure happiness: they only had two more shoots left before they could all go home. "We'll do another scene in about an hour." Rumiko finished happily as she bounded out to her car for a coffee break, leaving the rest to hang out in their rooms and at the snack table.

As soon as the door shut behind Rumiko, everyone ran off in their own directions.

! With Kagome and Sesshoumaru !

Kagome stifled a yawn, and glared at the now cold cup of tea in front of her. "I despise this job..." She muttered before pouring another cup of fresh hot tea. "Why do I have to play a stupid love sick girl? Why can't I have Kikyou's job? Wait.. That is just as bad. I would be dead. This Kagome can never die!"

"Um.. Kagome-sama..." A deep yet shy voice cut off her train of thought, and Kagome turned her gaze from the tea pot onto Sesshoumaru, the one who had spoken.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru?" She said as she noticed he was twiddling his fingers, and there was a healthy blush on his cheeks. Her eyebrow raised, causing him to blush harder, the redness seeping from his face to his ears.

"Um.. I was j-just wondering... would y-you like t-to..." He was cut of by a reply from Kagome.

"No. I do not waste my time with.. 'dates'. But coffee would be nice." Kagome grabbed her car keys out of her pockets and looked towards the clock. "We have enough time. Let's go." Sesshoumaru blushed and inwardly giggled at the thought of Kagome wanted to go for coffee with him. And he got to be in Kagome's awesome car! What a major plus!

And with another silent giggle from Sesshoumaru, and a cold glare from Kagome, both ran out the door to escape their co-workers...

! With Sango and Kagura !

Sango cackled as she leaned over her porn magazine, staring Kagura. "My, my, Kagura, what a wonderful body you have!" She cackled again before closing the magazine and standing from her hiding place. She tucked the magazine safely into her purse just as Kagura came running from around the corner in a tube top and a pair of uber short shorts that looked more like panties than shorts.

Sango mentally drooled as Kagura bounced up and down infront of her. "You'll never guess what I just saw! _Sesshoumaru_ is going out for coffee with _Kagome_! Can you believe he got a date with her? She's a total ice butt and he's a total geek!" Sango barely nodded, not even comprehending what Kagura just said before launching her face into her bosom, and wrapping her arms around Kagura's waist.

Kagura paled, before she scowled and smacked Sango's head, effectively making her let go and fall to the floor. She began to walk away when Sango latched firmly onto her leg. "Wait, Kagura!" Said woman looked down at her feet at Sango with a glare, "Will you go out with me? And possibly give me your next DVD?"

Kagura twitched.

! With Inuyasha !

"Bwahahaha! Now you will pay for cheating on me!" Inuyasha laughed maniacally as he bounced on his bed in his room. "Bwahaha!" Finally, he settled down at his make-up mirror and giggled evilly at his reflection. "She'll be begging for me to stop!"

He held up the bottle of potion and grinned at it. "Mwahaha. This potion will stop her from moving as I beat that creep Hobo into the ground! Hahahaha!"

Suddenly there was a shy knock on the door. Quickly he hid the bottle in his pants and crept over to the door, "Who's there?" He demanded.

"Er.. Miroku." Inuyasha heard the faint reply and groaned at his misfortune. He opened the door to reveal the stupid monk.

"What do you want! I'm in the middle of planning to kill..." He stopped in mid-sentence at Miroku's odd look towards him. "Errr... I mean... Can I help you, Miroku?" He laughed nervously, his voice changed to a sickly sweet tone. "Eh heh heh..."

Immidiately Miroku pushed past Inuyasha and landed face first on the hanyou's bed, crying. "I have a confession!" He sobbed into Inuyasha's pink pillow.

"If its the fact that you're gay, I already know that."

Miroku popped his head up from the pillow, "NO! I'm not gay! I'm... I'm afraid of women!"

Will Miroku get over his fear of women? Will Kagura go out with Sango? Or give Sango porno? Will Naraku or Kikyou even show up in the next chapter! Will Kagome and Sesshoumaru ever get back from the Cafe! Does this sound oddly like a Drangon Ball Z ending!


	2. Chapter 2

Tobari-chan: Woot, another chapter. I'm writing this in honor of Chad! My bestfriends ex-boyfriend who is like the perfect guy ever. He's sweet, and kind, and hot, and a skater guy, and he plays in the graveyard with Luegi boards...

Manda-chan: Are you sure that's safe?

Tobari-chan: Probably not, but who cares?

Manda-chan: Psyco. Anyhoo, Tobari-chan owns nothing.

Tobari-chan: Nothing at all... WAaaaAAAaaaah! Not even Chad! ;-;

Manda-chan: ...I thought you luffed whats-her-name?

Tobari-chan: Nah. She's too nice. I like the ebil chicks. : P If any of you people are awkward with that... too bad.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Kikyou kicked Hojo's foot away from hers. "No, Hobo! I won't kiss you again!" She giggled, even though she was trying to be serious. In truth, Kikyou had a mental disorder, causing her to laugh all the time, except when she was acting. But she was a very bad actor, for they had to cut every time she started to snort from keeping all the laughter locked inside of her throat.

Hojo pouted, "My name isn't Hobo. It's HOBO! Er.. WAIT! I mean... I meant... HOBOBO! No! Argh..."

"Shut it, Hobobo." Kikyou giggled as she flounced off to find Naraku. She had a very very large crush on him, but that biotch Sango had to get in the way and make Kikyou's Naraku-kun in love with her. Kikyou giggled. Oh the humanity! How dare that perv steal her man!

Kikyou knocked on Naraku's dressing room door. When he didn't answer, she leaned her ear against the hard wood, and started hearing mumbles.

"Oh, Sango, my love, oneday we shall be together! Kukuku!" Inside the room, Naraku was hugging a life-size Sango doll while he drooled on it. He was so caught up in making out with the doll, he didn't hear the knocking on the door until it got painfully loud, followed by high pitched giggles that could only belong to Kikyou. "Shit!" He stashed the doll underneath his bed, and then answered the door.

"Kikyou, how nice to see you!" He flinched when she giggled again.

"Heee heee heee heee!" (Like the one rhino dinosaur thingie from Land Before Time.) She flung herself upon him and cuddled him in her arms. "I love you so much, Naraku-kun!" She purposefully stuffed his face into her small breasts, causing him to start suffocating in the obnoixious pink (Almost orange, actually..) that she always wore when not filming.

When he finally got out of the pink frills and deformed boobies, and managed to stop wheezing for air, he stood up straight. "Yes, well, that's nice and all, but I must be going to... erm... watch... er..."

A whole eight minutes passed while he thought of an excuse. "AH! I have to watch Hamtaro!" Kikyou gave him a are-you-on-crack? look, "Yes, I like Hamtaro. I love the singing, the peace, and the fluffy-ness of the hamsters. They're so cute." He lied through his teeth, grinning as Kikyou finally left, giving him one last annoying giggle like the one dinosaur from Land Before Time.

"Oh the horrors." And then Naraku slunk back into his dressing room and flipped on the T.V. to Hamtaro.

-Off in the closet somewhere boring-

"Kagura!"

"Sango!"

"Oh Kagura!"

"Oh god Sango!"

Just then Miroku happened to be walking down that particular hallway, and, hearing the nasty noises, he screeched in a rather girly fasion and ran to his room to consult with his invisible phyciatrist, who just so happened to be waiting for him with sockpuppets and barbie-dolls.

-Away to the wonderful cafe filled with coffees, moolate's, cookies, and all other things good!-

"So... er... Kagome-sama..." Sesshoumaru was desprately trying to start a decent conversation with Kagome, for he longed to hear her voice.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru?" She said, her voice ever so wonderful to said male's ears. Kagome stared at him with cold eyes.

"Do.. do you w-want to g-go to the c-c-carni-v-val with m-me next Sa-sa-sa-sa-satur-d-d-ay?" He shuddered as Kagome rose one of her eyebrows.

"I shall think about it." Kagome lifted up his face with a single finger and kissed his cheek, causing Sesshoumaru to faint.

Kagome inwardly laughed. _'Sesshoumaru is so cute...'_ She thought for a moment before going back to her cold self.

-In ebil Inu's room-

"MWAHAHAHA!" Inuyasha cackled as he stood evilly over a tied up, covered in pink from head to toe Rin. "Kikyou loves pink things, she'll have to come save you after she hears how pink you are! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"

"Mphhh! Php mhp mhp shp yhphp!" (Help! Let me go Inuyasha!) Inuyasha wiggled his fingers as he cackled to the moldy ceiling. (Looking like Invader Zim, I might add.)

"NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW LITTLE RIN! BWAHAHAAAA! ONLY KIKYOU CAN HELP YOU!"

-end chappie-

Will Sesshoumaru ever wake up? Will anyone guess what Kagura and Sango were doing in the closet? Will Naraku ask Sango out? Will Sesshoumaru ever wake up and will Kagome go to the carnival with him! Will Kikyou save poor Rin! Find out next time on the next. chapter. of INU-YA-SHA HELL! (I spaced it like that on purpose...)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Been a while, Ne? God I used to be dumb. Chad actually turned out to be a complete asshole who deserves to die for ruining people's relationships and then acting like they're friends afterwards.

I don't own anything.

--

Kikyou twitched in the middle of the hallway, and not because of her minor case of tourrettes. Ahem.. MINOR. "I sense something... PINK! Hee hee hee!" She said in a serious voice, "And its... It's being injured! NO! I MUST SAVE THE PINK!!"

With that, she took off running.

Meanwhile, Inuyasha sat cackling in front of a completely freaked out Rin.

"Smpfhm flp mpf ffmmph!" (Some one help me please!)

--

Miroku sobbed in a corner of his dressing room as the very bane of his existance walked in... A woman! Not just any woman, it was Sango! "HELP!"

"Shut up, homo." Sango barked at him. "I want to know if Kagura and I can borrow some video games. The ones in the closet went missing."

"That explains the weird shouting I heard earlier." Miroku whimpered as Sango began to rummage through his things, attempting to become 'one with the wall.'

Sango stood up, giving him a funny look. "What? Pft, no." She laughed. "We were having sex."

Miroku screamed.

--

"K-k-k-Kagome-sama, don't you t-think-k it's t-t-t-time to get b-back to the set?" Sesshoumaru pushed his index fingers together, looking down at the ground. Kagomes eyes narrowed.

"Don't you enjoy spending time with me Sesshoumaru?" Kagome asked him in a deadly voice.

Sesshoumaru blanched. "It-it's not that! O-Of course not! I l-like being w-with you!" A blush spread out over his face as Kagome grabbed his hand.

"Then we're in no hurry, are we? I'm not needed at the set because I'm supposedly back in my time whining about some lousy excuse of a person and you're god know's where." Kagome looked away from him. "Lets go see a movie."

"I'll p-pay."

--

Naraku staitioned himself outside the door of Miroku's dressing room, having witnessed Sango walk in and, well, because he worshipped the ground she walked on, he stayed to listening and maybe even protect her.

Then again Miroku was crazy.

"What? Pft, no. We were having sex."

Naraku nearly cried. His beloved Sango was having sex with that slut Kagura? WHY? -sob- Wh-hy-hy?!

--

Kikyou burst into Inuyasha's dressing room, a fake wand in her hand as she giggled annoyingly. "Inuyasha! How could you! Hee hee! How dare you injure this beautiful person who loves pink almost as much as I hee hee hee!"

Inuyasha, immediately forgetting his previous plans, grovelled at the annoying womans feet. "I'm sorry! I was in the wrong, o loving master of mine!" He sobbed pathetically. "I love you!"

"Hee!"

--

A/N: I'm putting this fic under complete because well.. It's kind of dumb. Same for YuYuHell. Sorry guys.

I'm moving on to focus more on my other fics. Hopefully I'll get them finished soon.


End file.
